A High King and His Queen
by SubOrbital
Summary: For fifteen years they lived and loved as one, but when the world beckoned them home, their love became undone. Eight months after tumbling back through the wardrobe, a King struggles to forget his love for his Queen. PeterSusan
1. Ch 1 A High King and His Queen

_**A King and his Queen**_  
**Title:** A King and his Queen  
Part 1/5  
**Author: SubOrbital  
Rating: M  
Character/Pairing:** Peter/Susan  
**Word Count: 2261  
Warning: Incest  
Summary:** _For fifteen years they lived and loved as one, but when the world beckoned them home, their love became undone. Eight months after tumbling back through the wardrobe, a King struggles to forget his love for his Queen.  
**Author's Notes**_**:** This is definitely not my usual pairing. I usually write slash, but second to that is the High King and Queen of Narnia. If you didn't like the pairing or the incest factor, you wouldn't still be here, I imagine. Reviews are love!

**A King and his Queen**

**_BEYOND THE DREAM_**

"I don't care about Mary bloody Holdsworth!" Peter protested to Susan, "I'm not dating her, I'm not interested in dating her, and we are not going to talk about her anymore, alright?"

"Really, Peter, I don't know why you get so upset about me mentioning a girl who just happens to fancy you." Susan said dismissively, brushing her hair in front of the mirror inside her room.

Eight months had passed since Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, tumbled through the wardrobe. They had struggled since that day to try and recover from the jarring return to the real world. On some days Peter would feel as old as time, and others still a boy who had none of the experience of a King, let alone a High and Magnificent one. The lives they led in a land called Narnia were but memories, both ecstasy and torment in one. For what happened in Narnia, could not happen here.

"Perhaps for the same reason you get upset when I ask why you sit alone so often, Su, when there are clearly many who would seek your company." Peter said as he took the brush from her hand, forcing her to pay attention to him.

Susan stood and turned to face him in a flash, her eyes flaring with anger, "What is it you want from me, Peter!?"

"For fifteen years, you were my Queen, Su." Peter gasped desperately, clutching her arms, "You were my moon, my goddess. You were mine. How do you expect me to pretend our life did not exist?"

Susan hitched as if the words stung her far more than she wished them to, "How can you even speak of that here, Peter? We were filthy. We were wrong. It wasn't right!"

"It was my life!" Peter screamed at her, furious tears in his eyes, "You were my life! We were King and Queen! Edmund and Lucy were our brother and sister, and we were their mother and father. We were mother and father to all of Narnia, Su. We deserved what we had! It was not wrong!"

Susan slapped Peter hard, screaming as tears streamed down her face. Eight months. Eight months she'd avoided this discussion. Eight months of silent tears in the still of night, when the moon and the stars could almost make her believe she was back there. Back in that world, in his arms, surrounded by his unwavering love.

"Well it's wrong now!" Susan screamed back at him, sobbing furiously, "Why are you doing this, Peter? We are brother and sister here. We are neither King nor Queen. We are not magnificent or gentle. We do not rule over a beautiful dream. Wake up, Peter. This is reality."

"If it was just a dream, why am I still awake now, feeling exactly the same for you now as I did then?" Peter cried, daring to cup her face, "Why when I even try to fight it, I still remember the first time I looked at you and knew you were a Queen? You were my Queen."

**_THE FIRST TIME_**

"And to the radiant southern sun, Queen Susan the Gentle." Aslan spoke with a powerful resonance, "And to the clear northern skies, I give you ... King Peter ... the Magnificent."

The four monarchs sat upon their thrones as Aslan turned to speak to them. It was a truly defining moment for Narnia, and for themselves. They were no longer mere children. They were warriors, healers, rulers.

At that moment Peter turned to Susan and without wondering why, he reached his hand across to her. She reached hers to him and in the middle their hands clasped. A small smile passed between them along with a knowing glance. The crowns upon their head had signified a change or perhaps a realization of a change that began the moment they set foot in Narnia.

When the time came to dance, Peter performed as expected with a beautiful dryad spirit. Yet all the while his thoughts and eyes were only on one other. On the same eyes, the same soul he'd searched out at the end of the Battle of Beruna. The one he'd rushed to save from the wolf, Maugrim.

The first time Peter smiled at Susan, in a way that one would smile from the blissful realization of eros love, was the first time he asked her to dance in a way that was not at all brotherly. He asked as King to a Queen. A King to his Queen.

"Might I have this dance, my Queen?" Peter asked, his hand held out toward her in wait.

"You may, my King." Susan smiled softly, taking his hand and moving gracefully into his arms to share a dance.

Peter's eyes were locked on hers as they moved in time to music he heard only in his heart. She returned his gaze, while smiling in that subtle, graceful manner he adored so very much. His heart felt light, perhaps light enough to float. His feet moved without guidance, matching hers in perfect synchronicity.

Susan's eyes were locked on his as they moved in time to music she heard only in her heart. He returned her gaze, his eyes twinkling with a smile meant only for her. Her heart felt light, light enough to soar. Her feet moved to his lead, matching his in perfect synchronicity.

Little did they realize that they were the only couple dancing. Even Edmund and Lucy were paused, hands clasped as they watched Peter and Susan dancing. All in attendance were fixated on the majestic sight of the Magnificent King and his Gentle Queen. The fauns had stopped playing their instruments, and yet the King and Queen still danced in time to music they heard only in their hearts.

For some this day had been for coronation. For Peter and Susan it had been more akin to a wedding. When the dancing stopped, the couple could not be parted. Peter's hand clasped Susan's without relent. Their fingers were interlaced and for the entire evening, one would not venture without the other.

Neither Edmund or Lucy thought it strange. It simply seemed right. Though their own love would grow in time, Peter and Susan were bound to a higher covenant as mother and father of Narnia. It was a covenant sealed with their coronation. But it was not the only covenant sealed that night.

"What is this, Peter?" Susan asked him as they stood on the balcony adjoining the throne room.

"It is ..." Peter said, staring at where his hand clutched hers.

He felt a nervous fluttering in his heart. He felt a compelling to clutch her to his chest and protect her from the world. He felt a growing need to share with her something he was still trying to understand.

"It is ..." Peter continued, turning his gaze from the night sky to her eyes, "It is the most unexpected ... most ... wonderful feeling I have ever known in my life, Su. It is love beyond sense or understanding. I could not stand here and claim it to be anything else. The moment you became a Queen, you became my Queen."

"And you became my King." Susan said, her eyes glistening just slightly with emotion.

Peter clutched her hand to his lips gently, kissing her slightly cooled fingers. He exhaled a desperate breath, opening his eyes to gaze at her once more. The need in him grew with each moment. The need to seal, to realize, to expel the silence and replace it with proclamation of love.

"Su, you are my Queen. Tonight I celebrate, I proclaim my love for you. Tonight I declare that my heart is and ever shall be yours." Peter said softly, his eyes locked on hers as their hands joined, "I vow to honour you and only you as the Queen of my heart. As long as I live, I know I shall never love another as I do you. I vow to stand magnificent, if only you stand beside me as gentle. I know not where this love was born, but I know now that it can never die. As the crowns bind our lives in duty, so too do they also bind our hearts. The circle of my crown and duty shall be the circle of my love for you; unending. This, I promise you, my Su."

Susan smiled as tears slid gently down her cheeks. She could barely comprehend the words he spoke to her heart. He was all she saw. He was her world, her King, her love, her being. His words had come as naturally to him as their love had come to them tonight. She could only repeat the words in kind, and hope his heart would be as full as hers was now.

"Peter ..." Susan began to say, her voice graceful but tinged with emotion, "... you are my King. Tonight ... I acknowledge your love for me and proclaim it returned in fullness for all eternity. I vow to honour you and only you as the King of my heart. I swear to honour and obey you in all things, trusting in you to love and guide me with a purity of heart that I know you possess in bounty. As long as I live, I shall never love another as I do you. I vow to do all I can to stand beside you, to be gentle so that you might always be magnificent. I know not ..." Susan paused, her tears and emotion stifling her for just a moment before she could continue, "... where our love was born, but I know it lives and shall always live from this moment on. As the crowns bind our lives in duty, to serve and honour our lands and subjects, so too do they also bind our hearts. The circle of my crown and duty shall be the circle of my love for you; unending. This, I promise you, my Peter."

Both King and Queen let out soft gasps of emotion. Neither was free of emotion or the silent tears that stained their cheeks. The depth and power of their covenant was simply too much to bear without letting their emotion show. As if to seal this covenant, Peter stepped forward, cupping Susan's face as he leaned in, brushing his lips across hers.

"My love will always be you, my Su." Peter said with obvious emotion, his breath upon hers.

Susan could not answer before he pressed his lips against hers. The air left her as she felt the first and truest kiss of her life. She had given her heart and soul to her King, and he had given his to her. His hand pulled her by the small of her back as he kissed her with growing surety and passion. There, in the moonlight, a King kissed his Queen. A Peter kissed his Susan. And in that kiss, two hearts became one.

**_THE BEAUTIFUL DREAM IS OVER_**

"No, no, no!" Susan cried, shaking her head as Peter clutched her arms in her bedroom, the night of their covenant seeming a true lifetime ago and a world away, "I don't want to hear anymore! Stop it!"

"No!" Peter screamed at her, trembling with the depth of his emotion, "No! Eight months! Eight months you have denied me! You have denied us! You made a vow to me! You promised me! As long as you live!"

"I do not live!" Susan screamed at him, sobbing and shaking, "I do not live! I died the day we came back to this world! I died, Peter!"

"Oh, Su." Peter sobbed, pulling her into his arms and clutching her with all his might, "Su."

Susan could not speak, she was far too wrought with sobs. She let out a low, painful cry and buried her head in his chest. He knew her pain, he was her pain. All he wanted was to carry her back through that wardrobe and take back the life they were so cruelly denied.

"I know it is different here." Peter whispered, struggling to resemble anything magnificent, "But my vows remain true. My only love is you, my Su."

The proclamation of his love did not serve to give her any comfort. If anything it only served to heighten her anguish. She let out a louder cry and suddenly pushed away from him.

"Wake up, Peter. Wake up." Susan cried, shaking her head, "The dream is over. Wake up. The crowns are gone, the circle ended. Wake up."

She pushed past him and rushed from the room. Peter let out a rather pained cry, clenching his fists and falling back onto her bed. He let out a loud, angry cry, slamming his fists on the mattress. He did not care who heard. He did not care who fussed. He only cared that everything he loved was gone. His love, his crown, his duty, his beautiful, beautiful Narnia. It was all gone. The King was no more. The man was once more a boy. The dream was over. The beautiful dream was over.

**- To Be Continued -**


	2. Ch 2 Desire

**_A King and his Queen  
_Title:** Desire  
Part 2/5  
**Author: SubOrbital  
Rating: M  
Character/Pairing:** Peter/Susan  
**Word Count: 3,033  
Warning: Incest, Graphic Sex  
Summary:** _For fifteen years they lived and loved as one, but when the world beckoned them home, their love became undone. Eight months after tumbling back through the wardrobe, a King struggles to forget his love for his Queen.  
**Author's Notes**_**:** This is a very graphic chapter, hence the rating. It will likely be the only chapter to garner such a high rating. If you are not comfortable reading something with such a high rating, you can wait for the next chapter. However, it serves the development of the story and Peter's character, so I would recommend you read it.

**_IMPRESSIVE_**

High King Peter's sword smashed against Oreius's as the two trained in the main courtyard of Cair Paravel. On a balcony above, Queen Susan the Gentle watched the exercises taking place. Peter knew she was watching. This much was obvious to Oreius who could see the subtle smirk on Peter's face as he sparred with his centaur General and close friend.

Peter made sure to add a little extra to his parries and thrusts, giving Susan a show of his abilities. Peter fought barefoot, dressed in only half leggings with no tunic or armour. He'd trained enough with Oreius by now to trust him completely. He knew he would never come to harm and he enjoyed the lightness of training without armour.

When Oreius swung low at Peter's legs, Peter jumped vertically with both knees raised. In the same motion, he flipped in the air, landing in front of Oreius again. Before both his feet touched the ground, he had his sword at Oreius's neck.

"Point!" Peter said with a twinkle in his eye as he caught his breath.

Oreius nodded in agreement, "Sire, would I be correct in believing you are attempting to impress a certain Queen?"

"That is why you are my most trusted General, Oreius." Peter gasped, a little breathless, "You see all."

Oreius raised his eyebrow, "And if you were any more naked, Sire, so would everyone else."

Peter chuckled, stopping his movements to catch his breath. His torso was layered with a sheen of sweat that did much to accentuate his muscular build. He turned his attention to the balcony, giving Susan a wistful smirk and bow.

Susan fanned herself a little, blushing madly. She'd been seen, obviously. Lucy tapped Susan's arm as she sat next to her. She'd seen the interplay between Susan and Peter and wasn't sure she understood it.

"Su?"

"Oh." Susan said quickly, turning to Lucy, "When you get older, Lucy."

"I am older, Su."

"Not old enough to understand this, thank Aslan." Susan said as she stood up, glancing down at Peter again.

Peter smirked up at her, a picture of heavenly splendour in the midday sun. To him, she was a goddess on high, gracing him with her smile and eyes that sought only him. To her, he was a golden ray of masculine perfection, taking her breath away with his smile and unrivalled beauty. While she knew it odd to think of one so masculine as Peter as beautiful, she could not think of a more fitting word whenever her eyes found his, whenever his smile broadened only for her, or whenever his blue eyes twinkled in recognition of her presence.

Staring down at Peter now, Susan knew he was her heartbeat, and right now her heart was beating far faster than it should. She blushed, realizing she was staring rather wantonly at Peter's muscular torso, still rippling with the exertion of his training session with Oreius. Peter gave her a little wink, which made her blush even more. She knew that wink.

Standing to her feet, Susan turned and rushed off the balcony. Lucy shook her head after Susan, finding her and Peter's behaviour all rather strange. She knew they were in love, and she herself could feel the burgeoning sensation of love herself, but she did not understand the intense stares and gazes Peter and Susan shared. Perhaps when she was older, she would understand.

Susan rushed through the hallways of Cair Paravel, trying desperately to reach the chambers she shared with Peter. It was well accepted now that Peter and Susan were living as man and wife. While the Beavers had raised the prospect of a formal marriage ceremony, Peter dismissed it as he had already sworn his vows to Susan the night of his coronation. She was already his and he hers. There was no need to waste time and resources on pomp and ceremony for the benefit of others.

Before Susan could round the corner to approach her chambers, she came face to face with Peter at the opposite end of the hallway. He smirked at her and she blushed, trying her best to look proper and composed. Peter would have none of it. He had her off her feet and through their chamber doors in an instant. Their lips smashed together and Susan's fingers dug into the muscular shoulders of her High King. She knew that wink was a signal. She'd been given it enough times already.

"Could you not ... wait ..." Susan gasped between heated kisses as Peter carried her closer to the bed, "... until ... tonight?"

"Could you?" Peter replied, his lips kiss bruised from kissing Susan so eagerly, so passionately.

Peter eased her back on the bed, placing kisses down her neck and over her dress. Down her body he proceeded, until he reached her feet. He removed her shoes and kissed the arch of her foot before he moved back up her legs. She was his Queen. He could hardly believe it at times.

His calloused fingers moved up her thighs, sliding her dress up further and removing her undergarments. Susan let out a whimper of anticipation, her eyes clenched shut. The things Peter did to her seemed inhumane. To make her wait when all she desired was to be one with him, to be joined with her King, to be filled with his love, with his magnificence.

"I love you, Peter." Susan cried out, the moment Peter's fingers brushed against her nub, "Peter!"

"Yes, Su?" Peter whispered, as calm and composed as ever.

There were times when Susan had Peter wrapped around her finger, his desires making him mad with love and need for her. This was not one of those times. This time it was Peter who well and truly had Susan in hand; literally.

As Peter's gentle finger movements caused Susan to buck and gasp, Peter used his free hand to slide her dress further up. His hand moved slowly over her milky white stomach and it shivered under his touch. His desire grew the more she was revealed to him, the more he touched her. He could not believe this goddess was his. Always, she had promised. Always she would be his. Such a thought caused Peter to smile contently. Always his.

Servants were trained to be ever present but invisible so they would not distract their masters. While Peter had trouble adjusting to this way of things, he'd found them quite useful at times. This time in particular proved useful when he motioned for two servants to help ease Susan's dress up over her head and remove it. Just as quickly as they'd come, they were gone, along with her dress.

"Revealed." Peter said with a gasp, his eyes trailing over Susan's naked body.

She was simply breathtaking. Her curves were flawless, her shape beyond reproach. She was a picture of grace and poise and beauty and light. She was his light. Even now in her state of utter arousal, she was as perfect to him as ever. Being a male, he would be lying to himself if he did not admit her very large breasts were not eye catching. In fact, watching them move with the heave of her chest made his sizeable erection jerk a little eagerly.

"Peter, please." Susan moaned, biting her bottom lip as his thumb and finger continued to give her the heights of pleasure, "I ... I need ... you."

Still, he would not succumb to his own need. Not yet. He leaned over and flicked his tongue out to taste the heat of her bosom. Moaning a little breathlessly he suddenly suckled firmly on the large breast being offered to him. Susan cried out loudly, arching up into his hand as Peter's tongue worked on her sensitive nipple. She was almost crying from pleasure now, and it would not be long before she was sobbing and begging for him to enter her or stop.

In the year since they'd started making love, Peter had become a master of her body. He knew her as well as she knew herself. He knew each sigh, he knew each curve, he knew each subtle frown or glance. He was her master in every way, and she would have it no other. She trusted him completely.

"Peter, please!" Susan cried out, tears rolling down her cheeks from yet another orgasm Peter's able fingers had given her.

"Patience, my Su." Peter gasped, pulling off her bosom to trail kisses down her stomach.

His kisses moved further down, further toward where his fingers had given her a short respite from their pleasure giving duties. She was breathing more evenly now, her eyes closed and her hands seeking out his golden locks. The moment Peter's tongue replaced his fingers and his lips pressed against her womanhood, she let out a low groan. It was a groan as if to say 'I give up, I am undone to you, I can resist no more'. Her hands gripped the sheets, pulling them as she arched up, screaming at the top of her lungs when Peter's tongue unleashed yet another torrent of ecstasy that reached from her head to her curling toes.

"And now." Peter said suddenly, crawling up over her body.

Susan stared up at Peter, breathing harshly and moving her hands up his back. She was completely undone. She did not know if she could take anymore of what Peter had to offer her, but she would, for him. He smiled down at her, his lust quickly giving way to love as he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss upon her lips.

"Do you perhaps have any idea how much I love you, Su?" Peter asked, settling in between her legs and barely pressing his arousal against her entry.

"Words cannot quantify such love, Peter." Susan gasped breathlessly, wrapping her legs around his hips and pressing her heels against his ass to urge him inside, "Please. I need you."

"And I need you." Peter replied, kissing her sweetly before with one swift, sharp jab he thrust himself into her completely.

Susan cried against his lips, shaking from his sudden entry. Sometimes he was slow, sometimes he was fast to enter. She enjoyed the slight discomfort when he was fast. It reminded her this was real. That it was not a dream. Though she had never been with another man, and never intended to be, she knew that Peter's phallus was just like his title; magnificent. It filled her to the point she was breathless, but thankfully not to the point she felt pain from his thrusting inside her.

Peter knew many wonders in his life, but few were as encompassing and splendid as the feeling of being sheathed inside his Queen. He had to pause inside her, letting her adjust to his presence and giving him time to appreciate this moment. His heat was wrapped in hers, his phallus buried deep inside her womanhood. They were one, and would soon both be striving, thrusting, grinding, and pulsing toward a moment of utter ecstasy.

Just the thought of it made Peter draw out slowly and then push back in. He only moved a few inches at first, but when he felt Susan's feet pressing his ass as a sign for more, he truly began making love to her. He sucked her bottom lip into his lips, biting softly. She let out a gasp as he held one of her legs up against his hip to angle deeper inside her.

"Su ..." Peter moaned.

"Pe...ter..." Susan whimpered back, her fingers digging into his back hard enough to mark him.

He was power to her grace. The sight of his statuesque form moving between her splayed legs was quite a sight to the servants behind them. He was man, claiming his woman, stamping his mark inside her. From behind, they were such a contrast. He was golden, his back chiselled with muscle and adorned with sweat. She was pale, milky, soft, gentle.

Peter began to gasp and grunt with exertion. He kissed her with fervour, the smack of their lips echoed by the slapping sound of their groins banging together. He slung her leg over his shoulder and propped himself up on one hand, looking down between them to see his shaft slide out of her pillowy folds and then slide back in again. His eyes rolled up and he groaned in utter bliss, driving in and out of her with shorter, sharper thrusts. He was so close now. He was the one who could not hold back his cries. He was the one who was just moments away from release.

Susan had the power now. He had crossed the line into maddening lust. He was whimpering from the pleasure her body was giving him. Susan watched through her sweaty bangs, gauging his facial expressions to see when she should send him over the edge. When his face contorted and his mouth fell open, she moved her hands to his chest and thumbed his nipples quickly. Peter let out a sharp scream that became something of a mighty roar. The moment his roar filled their chambers, he triggered her release and his own at once.

Their centres were joined, his phallus buried entirely within her warm depths. He grit his teeth and arched up, before he roared again, spilling his seed inside her. It was his greatest desire to one day father a child with his Goddess, but he knew it would come if fate intended it to be so. For now, he was simply grateful to share such overwhelming bliss with his Queen, his love, his Su.

**_BOARDING ON INSANITY_**

Peter grit his teeth as his right hand flew up and down his rigid penis. He couldn't help touching himself. Lying in bed in the middle of the night, his mind was overcome with memories of that time in Narnia. Just one of so very many when he made love to his precious Su, the eternal Queen of his heart. Such memories were all he had now to sate his incredible desire and need.

Now he was no longer a man in a kingdom, but a boy in a dorm. A young man with the heart of a much older one. His body craved flesh and release just like every other body lying in the dorm around him. Unlike the sure King he had been in Narnia, in this world he was awkward and uncertain. He jerked himself rapidly, gasping when the image of a Gentle Queen breathless and naked beneath him finally drew him over the edge of release.

"Su..." Peter whimpered as he came into a sock that he used just for these very occasions.

The poor sock was very well used, but it was either that or make a mess all over his sheets. His orgasms were rarely ever fulfilling. Afterward he always felt dirty or wrong, and he often felt like crying. He loved Susan, but he knew in this world, no one would understand his love, his desire, his need. He felt dirty here. He felt wrong. And now he was pleasuring himself almost nightly because it felt like the only way to keep his memories real, even though with each night the memories seemed a little less potent, a little less real.

"Gracious, Pevensie, can you keep it down when you're doing that, Chap?" Called one of Peter's dorm mates, Bradford Leeds.

"Oh … right." Peter frowned, catching his breath, "Umm … sorry."

"Mmm, night." Bradford yawned, rolling back over to go to sleep.

Peter breathed in a sigh of anxious relief and ran his hand through his hair. He was flustered, overcome with the aftermath of his orgasm. Before he could finish cleaning himself off as quietly as possible, he found himself being tapped on the shoulder from the bed-mate on his left.

"God, I wasn't that loud." Peter groaned.

"Loud enough." Lloyd whispered.

Lloyd sat up and moved to the edge of his bed, so he could lean over and whisper in Peter's ear. Peter shuffled over so he could no doubt let himself be chided. It wasn't usual for him to be discovered when he pleasured himself. He didn't think he'd been that loud.

"Anyone who says they don't do it is lying, Pevensie." Lloyd confessed, "But I just want to know, who is Su?"

Peter paled and closed his eyes. He was grateful that he was a relative stranger at this school and no one knew much of his personal life, save for Edmund, of course. Being a boys boarding school, the girls did not attend, so not many knew who they were. If people were to figure out just who the source of his fantasies was, his life would be ruined. An yet Peter could could not help but answer truthfully.

"Who is Su?", Peter's eyes glistened with emotion as he spoke, turning to Lloyd as his voice hitched and he held back a sob, "She is ... my heart. My Queen."

"Your Queen?" Lloyd asked, confused.

"My Queen." Peter gasped, turning over and burying his head in the pillow.

Peter could barely stem the silent tears that hit his pillow. His heart hurt so very much. He felt far too old for this childish world. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to his Narnia. He was tired of being a boy. He wanted to be a man again. He wanted to be a King again. He wanted to be hers again.

**To Be Continued**

Thank you so much for your response to my first chapter. This chapter was very NC-17 rated, but it was necessary to cover certain aspects of Peter and Susan's relationship. I don't think any more chapters in the series will be this graphic unless it also serves a purpose story-wise. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for reading.


	3. Ch 3 Closer

**_A King and his Queen_**  
**Title:** Closer  
Part 3/5  
**Author: ****SubOrbital****  
****Rating: ****M  
****Warnings****: None this chapter.****  
****Character/Pairing:** Peter/Susan  
**Word Count: ****2,984****  
****Summary:** _For fifteen years they lived and loved as one, but when the world beckoned them home, their love became undone. Ten months after returning from Narnia, is Peter any closer to regaining his Queen?  
_

**A King and his Queen**

Chapter 3 - Closer

**_CLOSER_**

"I don't even want to be here, Lucy." Susan groaned, setting her bags down in her room.

Ten months now. Ten months since the world changed. Ten months since they changed. Ten months since the Magnificent, Gentle, Just, and Valiant, were cast back into a world that did not know their glory.

Susan and Lucy had just returned home for an unexpected respite from school. They did not know why they had been summoned home but Susan feared that perhaps something had happened to their father. Though Susan loved their father, she felt as if he was a stranger to them. A very short few years without him to their mother, felt like a lifetime to Susan. She had lived a lifetime. Her mind told her that logically that life could not have been real. And yet if it was not, why did her heart burn with the memories of a life once lived?

"Why don't you want to be here, Su?" Lucy asked curiously as she unpacked her suitcase, "I cannot wait to see Edmund."

"Yes, well, you and Edmund are ... different, aren't you?"

Lucy narrowed her eyes at Susan and stomped her foot. There was only so much she was prepared to take from her older sister. Susan seemed so intent on forgetting everything they'd been in Narnia, while the rest of her siblings tried to adjust to normal life without forgetting. She knew it wasn't easy for Susan, but she didn't like to be treated like a child, even though she was one in body.

"Goodness, Susan, you really are forgetful, aren't you?" Lucy snapped before she turned and rushed out of the room.

Susan sighed and slumped down on her bed, staring at her suitcases. She despised being home. She just wanted to go back to school and forget about everything here. It wasn't enough to forget Narnia. It seemed she had to put her home life out of her mind as well, because her home life included Peter.

There was a time when she could not bear to be without him. A time in Narnia when each day he was away on a campaign, or those blasted Northern Wars against the Giants, she would sit on her balcony and stare at the sky. She would whisper a plea to return Peter to her safely. She would do this for all her siblings, but there was a different ache in her plea when she asked for Peter.

**_LONGING_**

"Return him to me." Queen Susan the Gentle whispered, staring up at the stars from her balcony.

Peter had ventured to Glasswater after sightings of a pirate raid fleet were made. Edmund had accompanied him, of course, leaving the Queens at Cair Paravel, fretting about both their brothers and Kings. Peter and Edmund had been gone for a month now, with little word from them in between.

When Susan heard a voice in the darkness, she turned her head to see Lucy standing on her own balcony, doing exactly the same as Susan was. She could not make out Lucy's words, but she could understand her intent. Lucy no doubt missed her brothers as well. She always had been a caring little girl.

Susan tilted her head curiously when she realized Lucy had curves. Slight, to be sure, but there nonetheless. Perhaps not so little?

"When did _that_ happen?" Susan gasped curiously, "Perhaps she is not so little after all."

How old was Lucy, anyway? Susan could not quite place her age anymore. Most of her life before Narnia seemed a little muddled now, and none of the four had bothered to record their ages upon entering. She supposed part of the magic of being here made them forget the life they led before it. She could still remember feelings more then details. She remembered feeling quite terrified of a great and world encompassing war. She remembered her mother. The face had become softer over time, but she still remembered that her mother loved her. She remembered that her father loved them all, as well as his King and country, and went to war to fight for it.

She could not remember too much besides those things. She was grateful for it. If she could remember, she would no doubt remember she was supposed to feel shame for essentially marrying her brother. She felt no shame at all. She felt only love, only longing for his return. He was father, she was mother. Their love was not only necessary, it was right. It was foretold in their hearts, revealed to them upon entering this bountiful land of beauty.

When the morning came, Susan was awoken by the sound of trumpets. Servants rushed in to inform her that her heart had come home. Her two Kings, without whom she would not feel complete, and one King, without whom her heart would never be whole.

Smiling brightly, Susan leapt out from under the covers of her and Peter's bed. She did not stop for slippers, padding barefoot toward her balcony as servants fussed about behind her to find a dress worthy of a Just and Magnificent return. She clutched the balcony rails, gushing with twinkling eyes as she spied the procession entering the bounds of Cair Paravel.

Lucy had never been one for much formality. It sometimes irked on Susan's proper sensibilities but she could understand why Lucy would be running across the central courtyard now, not a shoe in sight and still in her nightclothes. Edmund had barely dismounted his horse before Lucy threw herself at him.

Susan smiled softly as she stared down at the sight of Edmund holding Lucy. He was whispering in her ear and Lucy was sobbing with relief to have him home. Peter had always wondered if perhaps Edmund and Lucy would find love in each other's hearts, but Susan dismissed it every time. While her and Peter were mother and father, it seemed less ordained for Edmund and Lucy to find similar love. They were simply close siblings and friends, Susan believed. This belief changed somewhat when Edmund cupped Lucy's tear stained cheeks and pressed a kiss against her temple, whispering softly before he kissed her tears and finally her lips. This alone did not give Susan pause for thought. It was the length of time the kiss lingered. It was the way Edmund almost sighed contently into it.

Susan stepped back, shaking her head in disbelief before Peter came into sight behind Edmund and Lucy. Susan smiled brightly, gushing at the sight of him until she realized he was smirking cheekily in that 'I told you so' fashion. He motioned to Edmund and Lucy and gave Susan a cocky wink.

Susan rolled her eyes, hands on her hips, doing her best motherly chide impression. Peter shrugged, quite smug with himself. Susan knew she'd never hear the end of this one if Peter was right. Peter raised his hand to her and waggled his finger in a 'come to me' gesture.

Susan's heart skipped a beat and she turned, rushing out of their chambers. Servants groaned behind her, realizing she hadn't stopped to change. Such impropriety, they all thought. Susan cared nothing for propriety right now. She cared only for the rapid beating in her heart, and closing the distance between her and her King. Her feet moved as swiftly as ever, padding across carpet, and finally stone.

Susan was practically screaming when she came into sight of Peter again, sprinting toward him as he moved surely toward her. She jumped into his arms, almost knocking him off his feet. He was far too strong for that though, catching her effortlessly as her lips smashed against his. The world seemed to spin around them as they kissed with the wanton passion and love they had been denied for far too long.

It seemed an eternity before the kiss was broken. Peter held Susan tightly, her legs around his waist as they shared their relief and love for being reunited through the passionate meeting of lips and tongue. His hand held firmly, almost possessively to the small of her back, holding her to him. The smile on both their faces as their kiss finally broke was infectious. Peter had always possessed a deceptively blinding smile. When he smiled, his whole face lit up and so too did the world around him. He was a nexus in heart and spirit, leading those around him even without realizing.

"I missed you, my Queen." Peter whispered, sighing contently as his fingers wound through her hair, "You are as radiant as the Sun that welcomed us home."

"Peter." Susan blushed fiercely, her cheeks turning a bright pink, "Please."

"We mustn't forget our children now." Peter teased, his eyes darting to Lucy and Edmund.

Edmund rolled his eyes and moved to Susan after Peter set her down. He gave her a warm hug, rubbing her back and smiling sincerely. Lucy bounced up into Peter's arms, and while Susan and Edmund's hug was warmly polite, Peter and Lucy's was jovial and filled with bright laughter.

"If I were your child, Peter, I'd become an orphan!" Lucy laughed loudly, latched onto his neck.

"And here I thought Ed was the cheeky one." Peter chuckled, rubbing her back and kissing her cheek before he set her down.

"I'm not cheeky, Pete." Edmund said, "Just intelligent."

Peter narrowed his eyes in confusion a little before he gasped, "Oi!"

"And I suppose you think you're so clever, don't you?" Susan smiled at Peter, "Being High King and all."

"I don't need to be clever, that's what I have you for." Peter said softly, stealing a sweet kiss from his beloved.

"Ahh, tis good to be home. Let's go, Lu, before we become sick from watching the 'old folks' declare their hearts." Edmund smirked, winking at Lucy before the two set off, Lucy almost skipping beside him.

Peter watched them leave, tapping his forearm with his arms crossed over his chest. Susan stared at him quizzically before she watched after Edmund and Lucy. She wasn't sure what Peter was looking at exactly.

"I was right, you know." Peter said with a smug smile, "Wait for it."

"For what?" Susan asked.

Edmund suddenly held his hand out beside him as he and Lucy walked away. Smiling deliriously, Lucy took his hand as the two disappeared out of sight. Susan rolled her eyes and turned to Peter.

"That hardly proves anything." Susan droned, "They always hold hands."

"What colour is denial, Su?" Peter said with a chuckle, taking her hand and leading her toward the private pavilion, "We should get you a dress in that colour. You can wear it to Edmund and Lucy's wedding."

"They are _not_ getting married!" Susan gasped suddenly, "Peter!"

"You are so precious looking when you're mad."

Susan was about to respond before Peter pushed her up against the wall and kissed her passionately. They were out of sight now and it appeared to the moment Peter was waiting for. Along in the royal pavilion, he kissed her with the true need his heart felt for his Gentle Su. His hands roamed up her bare legs and he let out a gasp which she echoed. Her King was home, right where he was meant to be. Right where she knew he should always be. Beside her. With her. And with Aslan's grace, very soon inside her.

**_SO VERY CLOSE_**

Susan opened her eyes and frowned softly, running her fingers over the sheets of her bed. She lay atop the covers, anxiously awaiting Peter and Edmund's return to Finchley. She felt a heat inside her as the memory of her and Peter in the pavilion burned in her mind. Her mind also pondered over Lucy's words. She decided not to give it much thought now. She sat up, realizing she was still in her own school uniform and should change into her home clothes.

It was dark outside now and Peter and Edmund were well overdue. She was beginning to worry that something might have happened to them. In these dangerous times of World War II, she always fretted for the safety of her siblings. It was bad enough that her father was away at war and one could never be sure he would return, when so many others did not. So many young men were enlisting themselves to serve and her stomach turned at the thought that Peter could do the same.

"He wouldn't." Susan whispered, her eyes wrought with worry as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Her fingers traced over the mirror and she smiled sadly at her reflection. A simple schoolgirl far too young in body to match how old she felt in her heart. Her body had at least caught up somewhat to the woman she felt she was inside. Yet it still not the body, not the face she wanted to see in her reflection.

"A Queen." Susan sighed softly, smiling sadly at herself, "Just a dream. You could never be a Queen now."

"Really?" Peter smiled softly, appearing at the doorway, leaning against it with a warm smile, "You will always be a Queen to me."

Contrary to her usual combative nature to Peter in this world, Susan smiled. She turned to him, unable to hide her relief. She moved to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"You're home." She whispered, eyes closed against his chest, "You're safe."

Peter could've almost fallen over in surprise from the warm reception. What exactly was going on here? He was so surprised he did not immediately return her gesture. When he came to his senses however, his arms wrapped around her like a vice. Even then she did not struggle free. He could hardly believe this. She was in his arms again, his Queen, his Susan, and she was not struggling to be free of him. If it were even possible, he would freeze this moment forever.

"Su." Peter gasped, a need in his voice as he held her.

He was tempted to say more, but feared his words might jar her from whatever madness allowed her to be held by him. Her grip was as fierce as his own, and it was a truly gratifying moment to realize that his unwavering belief in their love was not unfounded. He knew deep down she still loved him. It was hard to continue to fight for their love against her protests, but he knew it was in her heart to fear, because the hurt was too much to bear.

"The trains were delayed." Peter whispered finally against her ear.

"I ... I ..." Susan began to say, face still buried against his chest, "You wouldn't leave us, would you? Like father did. You wouldn't go?"

"To war?"

"Don't go." Susan pleaded, whispered, begged.

"Even when I am not with you, I am with you." Peter assured her, clasping her hand and raising it to his lips.

When she did not protest this gesture, he let out a sigh of relief. He held her fingers against his lips. In this world, her fingers seemed colder, less sure of themselves. He wanted to give her the warmth she seemed to lose after their return from Narnia. He kissed her fingers one by one, and then her palm. He turned his head to her face, which was now turned against his shoulder and glancing at him. He felt a swell of anxiety, butterflies multiplying in his turning stomach. His hand around hers squeezed tighter as he leaned slowly toward her and she toward him. She was not fighting this. Finally, after all this time she was succumbing to their love.

"Su?" Edmund called from the hallway.

He poked his head through the door just as Susan pushed herself away from Peter. She grabbed her clothes and rushed out past Edmund to the bathroom to change. Peter's eyes were wrought with anguish and he glared at Edmund, rushing to him. He grabbed Edmund by the shirt and pulled him in the doorway to shove him against the wall.

"Don't you know how to knock!?" Peter glared, eyes filled with emotion.

"I ... I'm sorry, Pete." Edmund gasped, eyes wide as saucers.

Peter was so prone to fighting these days that Edmund wasn't sure he would be spared a thrashing himself. He closed his eyes and tilted his head, awaiting the inevitable punch. Peter sighed and let Edmund go, adjusting his collar apologetically. He said nothing more and stepped back, allowing Edmund to leave. Edmund however, did not leave. He placed his hand upon Peter's shoulder and squeezed gently.

"I'm sorry." Edmund said again, sincerely.

"No. I'm sorry." Peter sighed, raising his eyes to Edmund and smiling apologetically, "I just ..."

"I know, Pete. I _know_."

Peter looked at Edmund curiously. There was so much they didn't say to each other. So much they didn't need to say to each other. Edmund was the calm to Peter's storm. He was the constant backup when Peter's passion drove him to fighting. He was the sense when Peter knew anything but.

Yet in Peter's eyes, he knew there was more to Edmund's statement than simple words. He knew. He _knew_. He knew what it felt like. To want. To need?

"Then how?" Peter asked, a plead in his voice, "How do you survive, Ed?"

"Ed?" Lucy called out from the hallway, looking for him, "Ed, where are you?"

"With great difficulty." Edmund chuckled with a sheepish shrug, "We just have to adapt."

Edmund patted Peter's arm before he slid out from the wall and entered the hallway to find Lucy. Peter leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He'd been so close. So very close.

"Why does he suddenly feel like _my_ father?" Peter groaned.

-- To Be Continued --

**  
**


	4. Ch 4 As Long As You Will Have Me

**_A King and his Queen_**  
**Title:** As Long As You Will Have Me  
**Part**: 4/5  
**Author: ****SubOrbital****  
****Rating: ****NC-17  
****Warnings****: None this chapter.****  
****Character/Pairing:** Peter/Susan, Ed/Lu  
**Word Count: ****5,059****  
****Summary:** _For fifteen years they lived and loved as one, but when the world beckoned them home, their love became undone. Susan realizes the gift of love is not infinite._

_**A King and his Queen**_

_Chapter 4 – As Long As You Will Have Me_

_****__THE SACRIFICE OF LOVE_

A death in the family Pevensie. This was the reason why Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy had been summoned home on short notice. Despite their fears, it was not their father, but their father's brother, an uncle that no one knew very well at all. Still, out of respect for their father who could not return home from war to attend, the children were all to attend the funeral instead.

Peter felt rather terrible for the fact that he was grateful to have this opportunity to spend more time with Susan. He knew he should feel more morose over his uncle's death, but he barely knew him. He did know however that his father loved his brother very much, and for that reason alone, and the fact his uncle died serving in the war against the fearsome Adolf Hitler and his war machine, Peter would afford his uncle the utmost respect.

In another world, Peter had fought many battles. He'd seen many heroes sacrifice themselves for the greater good. Even his brother, Edmund, had almost died fighting against Narnia's great evil, Jadis the White Witch. Her name still sent tremors through Peter's spine. She was a Hitler unto Narnia, spreading her ruthless agenda across the land for a hundred years. It was then that Peter and his siblings helped the great lion, Aslan, to free Narnia of her grasp and ascend the four thrones at Cair Paravel.

"Cair Paravel." Peter whispered, sighing softly as he sat in the pew of St. Andrew's where his uncle was to be buried.

Susan caught Peter's whisper and gave him what seemed half a death glare, and half a surprised stare at the mention of the name. Peter bit his lip sheepishly and turned away. Despite how much he ached for her, he knew that the middle of a funeral service was not the place to dwell on it. Last night she'd let him hold her. For just a moment she let him hold her. It was water for a parched soul. That one moment made him feel a little more at peace, a little less desperate.

Even more than that, Susan had not been as distant with him this morning. Though her words were few, her glances spoke volumes. She was looking at Peter. She was actually looking at him. Peter felt as giddy as if she had asked him to the winter ball. As he looked across to Edmund and Lucy, both sitting quietly, and so very closely, he could not help but remember a dance that Susan had asked him to.

_****__HONOUR ME_

"Su, must we really?" Peter asked, a slight hint of amusement on his face as he was fitted for a dashing new outfit for the coming ball.

"Begging your pardon, Majesty, but yes, we must!" Mrs. Beaver said as she fiddled with Peter's leg hem.

"Our dear Mrs. Beaver is right, Peter. You and Edmund have just returned from a glorious adventure to rid our shores of horrid pirate raiders. Not to mention Mr. Beaver's return, and I'm certain Mrs. Beaver would relish the chance to honour him as well as you." Susan said matter of factly, watching to ensure the servants made Peter's outfit just 'so', "We would be remiss not to celebrate such a splendid achievement and display of heroism. To honour your acts and your return, we celebrate."

"If you say so, my love." Peter shrugged, turning to give her a knowing smile, "Or perhaps you simply wish to see me at my dashing best?"

"Peter, you need no outfit to be at your dashing best of anything." Susan said sincerely, stepping toward him to take his hand and press it to her lips, "You need only be, and you are."

"Be still thy tongue, lest I float away and leave these poor servants without anyone to fuss over." Peter blushed, "Is it not my task to make you blush, Dear heart?"

"Perhaps." Susan said with a hint of a smirk as she turned to leave, "Perhaps."

Peter found himself at a loss for words. He could only watch her leave and find himself speechless. For all their time together, he was still in awe of her. He still felt she was a mystery waiting to be solved, where he was simply a destination on a map that only she owned and knew completely.

When the time came for the ball, all of Cair Paravel was in an atmosphere of jovial celebration. To be sure, Peter did not mind the fuss for it was an excuse to afford his beloved subjects a time of levity and mirth. He entered the grand ballroom to the sight of his subjects bowing deeply in recognition of his presence. Edmund was already present, yet Lucy was strangely absent, as was Susan.

"Don't worry, Peter, Susan will be here." Edmund chuckled, "Unless you told her about the mermaids that followed our ship as we chased down those pirates."

"Oh don't you dare, Ed." Peter groaned, "She'll never shut up about it. You know she hates them enough already."

"And with good reason!" Edmund laughed, "They are all trying to seduce the High King! And those ones who cha..."

"Ed." Peter said sharply, but playfully, "Please. Give me a few days of her like this before I set her on some jealous tirade, alright?"

"Alright, Pete." Edmund smiled, patting his brother's back, "Now, where is ... she?"

Edmund seemed to be looking frantically for Lucy, and appeared rather dismayed when he could not locate her amongst the crowd. As the music began to play however, a striking figure of a young woman, holding a mask to her face, approached Edmund and held it aside to reveal it was indeed Lucy. She burst into uproarious laughter, causing Edmund to grin and chase after her through the crowd. Peter shook his head. He was certain those two were due to have ended such games years ago, but still they brought out a childlike joy in each other that he wished he still possessed. The war against Jadis seemed to be but a distant memory now, and he found himself puzzling curiously over how many years it had in fact been.

Such thoughts were quickly put aside when the trumpets heralding Susan's arrival sounded. Peter stood in the middle of the ballroom and turned toward the main entrance. The crowd parted like the Red Sea, revealing the approaching figure of Queen Susan the Gentle. Peter gasped and stepped back, holding his curiously light stomach.

Susan was a goddess given form. Peter was certain of this. Wearing a gown that seemed to comprise both wonder and the colour of 'denial' which Susan decreed was pink, she stepped gracefully across the floor toward Peter. As this indeed a masked ball, Susan wore a mask of her own that was similar to Lucy's, but far more elegant. It covered her eyes and nose, but left those full red lips revealed along with those pale cheeks that Peter knew so well. He took a deep breath and adorned his own mask, before he realized she'd overseen the making of his own outfit to ensure it matched hers perfectly.

She wore pink to his white and gold. She was grace to his power. The couple met when Peter could not stand in wait any longer. He moved to her and marvelled at his ability not to kiss her senseless that very instant. Effortlessly they joined, one set of hands clasped, the other on shoulder and lower back.

"Su, you look amazing." Peter said as they began moving across the floor in unison, "A goddess who takes my breath away."

"No." Susan blushed, letting a soft chuckle escape her, "I look like a Queen who wishes to please her King."

Peter sighed contently at those words and pulled Susan in a little closer. The dance slowed as if the music was being tailored to suit the High King and his Queen. Peter's lips hovered near Susan's ear as they danced. He could smell her, feel her, touch her. These pleasures were not lost on him after they'd been parted for weeks.

"Su?" Peter asked softly, "Are you happy?"

"Peter, what in Aslan's mane would possess you to ask such a thing?"

"I would not presume to take your happiness for granted, Su." Peter said, smiling faintly as her hand subtly squeezed his shoulder.

"And I would not presume that I am anything but happy when you are near me." Susan said with a soft smile, "And especially ... when you are near me."

A few hours later, Peter found himself having consumed perhaps a few too many goblets of wine and his legs were lacking a little in finesse on the ballroom floor. He was bright and cheery, eager to greet any of his subjects who so desired to be in his presence. Susan was busying herself with trying to find Lucy or Edmund. Before she spirited her beloved away to their bedchambers she wanted to at least say goodnight to her younger siblings. She'd seen neither all evening, which she found rather odd.

Venturing out of the ballroom, Susan opened one of the royal dressing chambers believing that perhaps Lucy might have taken pause to recompose her dress after an evening of dance. What she found was a sight that rather left her speechless. She stood speechless for a moment, before she stepped back and closed the door. She turned and ran back to the ballroom, anxious to find Peter.

"Peter!" Susan screamed, causing all around her to stop in anxious worry for their Queen's panic.

Peter immediately sobered and stood to his feet, rushing to his Queen. He stilled her with a pair hands taking hers and stared intently into her eyes. The tone of her cry had immediately caused him to become wrought with concern.

"Susan, what is it?" Peter asked hurriedly.

"It's ... I ..." Susan cried, completely flustered by what she'd seen, "It's Edmund!"

"What about him!?" Peter was fearful that something terrible had befallen his brother.

"I ... I found him ... in the dressing chambers ..." Susan held her hands to her eyes, crying, "He was ... he was ... naked. And Lucy ... she was ... she was naked too! And ... she was bent over the ... and he was behind her ... and she ... she was crying, screaming! And he was ... Peter he was ..."

"So, Susan, about the colour of denial you're wearing." Peter said with a wry smirk, "To their wedding, yes?"

"Peter!" Susan screamed, stomping his foot most improperly.

Peter winced and hopped up on one leg, gasping in agony. He hated when she did that. She immediately covered her mouth and pulled off his boot to make sure she hadn't damaged his bare foot.

"I'm sorry, Peter!" Susan said, kissing the appendage in apology.

"You can kiss my foot without stomping it!" Peter gasped, hopping to the nearest chair and sitting down, "Now, in case you are rather oblivious to the obvious, my dear heart, I have to tell you that Edmund and Lucy are very much in love and have been for a very, very long time."

"But!" Susan gasped, kneeling before Peter and massaging his foot while Narnian stared on in bewilderment.

"But?" Peter asked, rather enjoying this treatment from her now, "But, they are somewhat different to us? Not allowed to share what we share? You do not believe that it was somehow ordained by fate for each of us pairs to find our hearts and loves in one another? You are my pair and my heart. Lucy is Edmund's."

"You know what, Peter?" Susan said, standing suddenly to her feet and scowling playfully at him, "I think I'll wear this pink colour of denial a little longer!"

Peter burst with laughter as she turned and stormed off. He gasped, still laughing as he hopped to his feet and ran after her, one foot still bare. And so it was as it always seemed to be. Peter chasing after his tempestuous Queen. But oh how he would chase her until the end of time if need be.

_****__WHEN DEATH REMINDS US_

As Peter sat in the pew of the chapel for his uncle's funeral, he could not help the smile that adorned his face at the memory of that night. It seemed all he'd been doing for the last year was remembering the fifteen years before it. Fifteen years of laughs and smiles, tears and tantrums. Fifteen years of battles and adventure. Fifteen years of service. Fifteen years of love.

"Peter, this is hardly the time to smile." Susan whispered sternly, pulling him from the pew to drag him by the hand to one of the side rooms of the chapel.

"Susan!?' Peter gasped in surprise at being dragged out, "What are you doing!?"

"Peter, I know why you're smiling." Susan sighed, "Must you do this here of all places?"

"I was just smiling!"

"At a funeral!" Susan near screamed at him, grateful they were well away from any other ears.

"Would you rather I was miserable?" Peter asked petulantly.

"Yes!"

"Well, you are awfully good at making sure I end up that way, aren't you?" Peter said pointedly.

The words stung Susan far more than she was willing to let on. She stepped back, staring at him with hurt in her eyes. He immediately regretted his words and moved to her. She raised her hands to stop him and he cursed himself in frustration.

"Peter." Susan said softly, "Why can't you just accept that this is our reality now? We had fifteen years. Fifteen years, Peter. Should we not be grateful for that?"

Peter stared at her incredulously, "Grateful? Grateful!? I have been forced to give up my crown! My Narnia." Peter gasped, "My home in Narnia. It is more a home than this stupid world that drives itself to war without relent and forces our uncle to leave his wife and children without a father. I have a home and I cannot get back to it! My beautiful Narnian! Oreius, the Beavers, Mr. Tumnus, the Dryad, the Mermai..."

"Don't you talk about those bloody mermaids." Susan said gruffly, "Hussies, the lot of them."

"Susan Pevensie, are you still jealous?" Peter asked with a slight hint of amusement.

Susan shook her head angrily, "No! Peter, why can't you just let it go?"

"You are still jealous!" Peter grinned, grabbing her arms and turning her to face them.

"You shut up!" Susan blushed, trying to hide her smile, "I still remember very well how those minx creatures paraded themselves to you any chance they had."

"But there was only one parade I ever wanted to watch." Peter smiled, leaning his temple against hers, "The most spectacular parade in all of Narnia."

Susan sighed, "I was ... different then. Older, more ... mature."

"And what are you now exactly?"

"Besides confused?" Susan sighed, for once not fighting their closeness, "I am wishing that my brother was not so stubborn."

"When it comes to my Queen, I will never relent." Peter whispered, daring to touch her cheek with his fingers, "In any world, I cannot help but breathe for my Queen."

"I am not a Queen here." Susan gasped, her voice pained and her eyes glistening with emotion.

"Susan ... whether we choose it or not, you are always my Queen. Narnia is gone, but the love we made, the vows we made, they remain as long as we do. You still belong to me and I to you."

Susan looked at Peter, on the verge of breaking, "Why can you not just let me be, Peter? Every time you see me you do this to us."

Susan turned and rushed away, back into the chapel where she caught sight of her uncle's casket being carried in. She was surprised by how much the image struck her. Perhaps it was more the sight of her aunt and the expression of pure heartbreak on her face. It was an expression she was no stranger to.

_****__FAREWELL, DEAR HEART, FAREWELL_

"It's alright, Dear. It's alright." Mr. Beaver coughed, laying on the bed in the main infirmary of Cair Paravel.

"I'm supposed to be telling you that." Mrs. Beaver said anxiously, her eyes wet with emotion, "Queen Lucy will be home any moment now. King Peter has sent the fastest gryphon he can to spirit her back."

"All that fuss for me?" Mr. Beaver chuckled, his eyes fixed on his wife.

Mr. Beaver had been injured in service of his High King, and was believed to be on the road to recovery. A severe cold had stalled his recovery and sent him into a sudden downturn that had his wife and the monarchs filled with enormous concern. The Beavers held a special place in the hearts of the monarchs ever since they'd arrived in Narnia. Peter was doing all he possibly could to help his dear friend.

Edmund stood silently watching on behind Peter and Susan. He knew very well how grave this situation was. He, perhaps more than any of his older siblings knew that Mr. Beaver would likely not survive. While Edmund was more pragmatic about life and death than Peter or Susan, he still could not help but become wrought with emotion at the sight of Mrs. Beaver tending dutifully to her husband.

"All this fuss for you, Dear." Mrs. Beaver smiled, brushing her husband's fur as if preparing him for some grand appearance.

"Lucy?" Susan whispered to Peter, her hand gripping his fiercely.

Peter shook his head but said nothing. He and Susan both knew very well that Lucy was Mr. Beaver's best hope. At this stage she was perhaps his only hope.

"Ahh, she'll be right as rain." Mr. Beaver said, coughing softly, his voice strained, "It's alright, Love."

"Of course it is." Mrs. Beaver assured, "You'll see. Queen Lucy will be here any moment now."

Mr. Beaver turned to his wife, his eyes turning from a dark hue to a murky grey, "It's alright, Love. It's alright."

Mrs. Beaver blinked quickly, turning to Peter and Susan before she turned back to her husband. She knew very well what he was saying. She knew very well what he was implying. She felt her world being pulled away. She felt so very helpless, and yet she mustered all her strength to compose herself.

"But ... but, Dear ..." Mrs. Beaver said, turning back to her husband, "I ..."

"We ... we had a good run, you and I." Mr. Beaver said weakly, covering her paw with his, "We had the best dam ever, didn't we?"

"But ..." Mrs. Beaver gasped, struggling to control her emotions now, "... please, Dear. Just a little longer?"

"All the love in the world ... and I do not think it would buy me a little ... longer, Love." Mr. Beaver whispered, the light fading slowly from his eyes, "Don't you fret now, Love. Don't you ... fret ..."

By now Susan was sobbing into Peter's chest, unable to keep herself from coming undone. She had seen many deaths during her reign, but they never ever became any easier. She could hardly bear to see Mrs. Beaver sitting beside her husband. She was holding his paw in both of hers, staring at him lovingly, desolately.

"Please, Dear." Mrs. Beaver gasped, desperation in her voice, "Please."

"I'll keep the kettle ... warm ..." Mr. Beaver whispered, smiling at his wife with all the love he had left in him, "... and wait for you, Lo..."

"Dear?"

"..."

"Dear?"

But he was no more. Mrs. Beaver held her husband's now lifeless paw in hers. She stared at him, and though his eyes were now lifeless, they were filled with all the love in the world.

Susan and Peter were both struggling to stand. Eventually Peter collapsed into the nearest chair and Susan collapsed on his lap. Susan's sobs were loud, but even Peter's managed to match hers at times. Edmund was the one to comfort Mrs. Beaver as best he could, but she was remarkably composed. Edmund rubbed her back and she gave him a reassuring smile, as if to say she was okay. She was more worried about Peter and Susan. Edmund gave her the space she needed so she could sit and be with her husband's body.

Lucy burst into the room, eyes wide as she panted, catching her breath and kneeling beside Mr. Beaver. Instantly she had the cordial out but Mrs. Beaver's hand stilled her. She gave Lucy a small smile.

"Save it for the living, Dear." Mrs. Beaver said softly.

Lucy looked at Mr. Beaver and tilted her head as if she didn't quite understand. When she did, her eyes pooled with tears and she let out a pained wail. Edmund moved instantly to her, pulling her into his arms. Narnia had lost a loyal friend, but he could not help feeling as though Mrs. Beaver had lost much more.

The funeral afforded to Mr. Beaver contained the highest honours Peter could muster. It did little to quell the pain in the hearts of all those who loved the feisty creature. While the funeral was difficult, it was the aftermath that Susan in particular found most painful. She paid special attention to Mrs. Beaver. Mrs. Beaver tried to put on a brave face for all, but it was clear the light in her eyes had left her. In the quiet Susan would watch Mrs. Beaver sit alone on one of the balconies where she would sit with her husband. She'd look to her right, as if he was still there. She'd pat the space he used to sit affectionately, and when she thought no one was looking, she would cry.

It was in these moments that Susan realized just how much Mrs. Beaver was hurting. She kept all her husband's armour, his favourite outfits. She kept his place at their table. For her, this was how she coped. As if she expected him to one day walk back into their home and they would sit together as they always did.

"Mrs. Beaver?" Susan asked softly one morning, several months after Mr. Beaver had passed on.

"Yes, Majesty?" Mrs. Beaver asked cheerily, smiling brightly at the Queen.

"I ... how are you faring, Dear Mrs. Beaver?" Susan asked, "Are you ... how are you?"

"I ... whatever do you mean, Majesty?"

"Without ... Mr. Beaver." Susan said with a sad frown, "Are you ... coping?"

Mrs. Beaver was not expecting this line of conversation. She blinked hurriedly, trying to stem the tears that were forming in her eyes. She looked at Susan, gasping suddenly before she sighed.

"I cope as good as one can when half their heart no longer beats." Mrs. Beaver said with a sad smile, "Some days it is fine, but ... in the quiet, I feel like I can hear him and ..." Her tears began to flow freely and Susan offered her a handkerchief, "... and I so very much wish I could hear him. I just want to hear him, Majesty. I'd give anything just to hear him. But then the silence comes and I realize ... he's not there anymore. There's nothing left to hear."

After Susan had spent as much time as possible with Mrs. Beaver, she rushed immediately to Peter's office. She was shaking with emotion as she pulled Peter to his feet and buried her face in his chest. She sobbed softly, clinging to him with all her might. He said nothing, but held her until she found herself able to speak her troubles.

"Promise me." Susan whispered, staring up at him with tearful blue eyes, "Promise me!"

"Promise you what, Su?" Peter said with concern as he held her.

"That you won't ever leave me like he left her." Susan cried, her tears staining Peter's tunic.

"Oh, Su." Peter sighed, hugging her tightly, "I would promise you the world if I could give it. I do not know what the fates will bring us, but I promise you that I will never leave you as long as you will have me with you."

"Then I will always have you with me." Susan said firmly, "I will never let you leave me."

"As long as you would have me." Peter whispered, his promise in his words, "I will never leave you ..."

_****__LET LOVE BE FREE_

By the time the funeral for her uncle was over, Susan was a mess of tears. No one seemed to understand why she was so upset. No one seemed to wonder why Susan almost cried out loud when she saw her aunty sobbing over her husband's casket. No one except her siblings.

The memory of Mrs. Beaver and the sight of her aunt was enough to send Susan into a spiral of silence and reflection. She said not a word to anyone for the entire journey home. She did not eat dinner. She did not speak to Lucy or Edmund or Peter. She sat in her room, hands neatly in her lap, staring out the window. She imagined Mrs. Beaver sitting in a similar way, staring out as the sun set and imagining her husband was still beside her. Susan turned to her right and imagined a King, High and Magnificent sitting beside her.

In that moment, something inside Susan clicked. Something inside her changed and realized. Life was not endless. She would not have forever to wait for the perfect moment, for that second chance at a life long lived. Could she truly bear to live a life if Peter was no longer with her? Could she endure as Mrs. Beaver had?

_****__AS LONG AS YOU WILL HAVE ME_

Peter sat in his and Edmund's room, staring out at the sunset. Perhaps he knew that in the adjoining room Susan was doing the very same thing. He contemplated knocking on Susan's door, but somehow resigned himself to the fact that this encounter would be no better than any of their other encounters over the last ten months. He sighed softly before he felt a shoulder on his hand. He turned in surprise to find it was Edmund, not Susan as he'd hoped.

"Well, Pete, you're not exactly my sight for sore eyes either." Edmund deadpanned, before he shoved a folded paper in Peter's hand, "Now if you'll excuse me, I've had my fill of playing messenger. I have ... time to make the most of."

Peter nodded gratefully and watched Edmund as he left. He was a good brother. He was a better friend. Peter opened the paper and stared curiously at it. A time. A place.

_-Now. Finchley Park. A Queen awaits her King._

Peter almost flew out of his room, he was running so fast. He dashed out of the house, barely stopping to grab his coat. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him. The last line of the simple note had caught him unawares. Was it truly happening? Had Susan finally come to her senses?

Peter wanted to chide Susan for choosing to meet in a barren park at night, but he was too busy searching frantically for her. He caught sight of a light behind a thick line of trees and made his way through. When he stepped into a small clearing where a small blanket with candles around it, Peter almost lost his breath. Susan was there, waiting for him. She was standing barefoot on the blanket, wearing a simple sundress as the night was rather warm. Compared to the splendid gowns Susan wore in Narnia, this fittingly pink dress was positively common. Yet to Peter, she was still, always, his goddess, his Queen.

She gave Peter a small, shy, hopeful smile and held out her hands as she spoke, "I do not think I resemble a Queen. I do not feel like I am a Queen. But perhaps ... if you are with me again and ... you believe enough for the both of us ... I may come to believe I am still a Queen? Still your Queen?"

Susan spoke with such softness, such surety. Peter had always worn his heart on his sleeve, and to hear Susan speak such words caused him to gasp and blink back pained tears. He'd been waiting ten months for her to say such things. He'd been waiting ten months for her to show that she still loved him as he did her. Though he always believed it, the journey had been hard, long, and fraught with anguish. He'd lost everything else in Narnia, but now he realized he had not lost his Queen.

"Oh, Su." Peter cried, sobbing harshly as he stepped slowly toward her.

If Susan wore denial, Peter wore disbelief. For so long he'd wanted this, needed this, that now it was finally here, he simply felt tired, relieved. It was as if the battle was finally over and he could breathe again. He didn't have to fight anymore. He could simply be. He could simply love.

The moment their hands touched he felt renewed. He felt like some small semblance of a King. He felt some hint of magnificence within him.

"I will believe enough for the world, Su." Peter smiled tearfully, joyfully, before she silenced him with her lips.

Her kiss was unexpected, but so very welcome, so very needed. Peter instantly wrapped his arms around her, possessively, tightly. He held her to him as their lips pressed and tasted each other. Her kiss unlocked a fire within him. He felt such passion, such painful desire for her. He could hardly breathe now that her lips were finally, finally on his own. He broke the kiss, gasping for breath as he held her, tears pooling in his eyes.

Susan returned his gaze, her own eyes filled with the same emotion, "Then if you believe, I will be your Queen. Just promise me that you will never leave me."

"I will never leave you." Peter promised, "For as long as you will have me, I will never leave you."

-- **To Be Concluded** --


End file.
